Beep! Ring! Achoo!
   Amie walked in the door, throwing her heavy winter coat and car keys
on the chair and locking the door behind her. The house was still; she
knew he must already be in bed. Not asleep yet, just in bed.
   She walked up the stairs and turned into the bedroom. There she found
him, sitting in bed reading. He welcomed her with a smile. "How did the
dancing go?"
   She shrugged. "Alright. We practiced most of the time. We were short
a few who called in sick." 'And a few who should have done so,' she
added to herself, remembering Jim who'd been coughing into his sleeve
most that night, Tina who'd run out twice to the ladies room to vomit,
and Alex who'd stop every couole steps to sneeze into a soiled handky.
"I'm glad to be home," she told her husband, stripping off her layers of
shirts and unfastening her formal skirt to let if fall to the ground. "I
missed you."
   Ted smiled and yawned, just as she did the same; then they both
looked at each other and began laughing. Ducking into the bathroom, she
changed and washed, and then joined him in bed. She cuddled against him.
   "Tonight?"
   "No, not tonight. I'm tired. Tomorrow night."
   They agreed it would be best, then wrapped arms around each other and
fell asleep, keeping each other warm on the cold Decenber night.
            *                   *                    *
   RRRiiinnnggg!
   Amie awoke to an empty bed the next morning thanks to her loud alarm.
She hit the off button and then snuggled deeper into the mass of warm
blankets for just a few more minutes of sleep. When all of a sudden she
felt a tickle in her nose and before she could stop it, out it came in a
loud and messy result. "ACHOO!" She groped, bleary-eyed, for the tissues
she knew were on the bedstand but before she could reach hold of them,
out came a second mighty sneeze. And as soon as it was through, she felt
a thrid. She caught hold of the tissues at long last and raised one to
her moth and nose just in time. Amie grabbed a few more and blew into
them, hard enough to pop her ear at the pressure, which got her more
annoyed at herself than anything else. She swallowed and it popped back. 
   Then Amie rose, dismissing all possibilities, to take her usual
morning shower before heading off to work at the office. Oce in the
shower, with the warm water rushing over her, she felt much better and
was sure she would survive a normal day at work with no problem.
   A moment later, though, she found she did have a bit of a problem.
Her nose was tickling again. It was only a little tickle, like a feather
being brushed against her nose, but it was enough to make her worry. It
escalated until she felt it at the tip of her nose, tickling at her
nostils, trying to get her to sneeze. 'Not in the shower. No tissues
here!' she told herself as she pinched her nose shut and fought the
urge. She quickly washed herself down with the soapy washcloth in the
other hand.
   Satisfied she was clean, she turned off the water by tapping the nob
with her knee. Then she pulled open the shower curtain to the
steam-filled room and reached for her towel. As she did so, she let go
of her nose, sure she could fight the feeling just a bit longer until
she died off. Wrong. She clenched her teeth and squished up her face,
but the tickle only grew, so strong that as she wrapped the towel around
her dripping wet body, she gave a sneeze, sending the towel to the
floor as she dropped it in surprise. "Achoo!" She sniffed a few times
and almost laughed at the picture of herself in the foggy mirror.
   Naked and dripping, she thought herself normal in most ways. She had
long, dark brown hair that reached half-way down her back when wet, and
green eyes, as most did on her mother's side of the family. She was 5'5
and about 120lbs, though the only places it showed were in her rather
large thighs that didn't seem to bother her husband in the least. But
now when she looked at herself she couldn't help but want to laugh. She,
Amie Nealson, was freezing, dripping, standing naked in her bathroom,
struck almost motionless by a few sneezes. She refused to let them get
the best of her.
   She went for the towel but was suddenly caught with another sneeze,
though this one didn't stop at just one. "Ahh... Choo! Achoo! Achoo!
Achoo! AhhChoo! ACHOO!  Ah... Ahh... Ahhhh... AhhChoo! ACHOO! Ahh-" and
then it stopped. It wouldn't come out. The feeling stayed at the end of
her nose, making her want to sneeze but not tickling enough to make her
do it. "Damn. I hate it when it does thaaahhh... ahhhh... AHHH..." and
left her again. She sniffed and rubbed her nose with her palm to get rid
of the tickle. All that remained was the stuffiness.
              *                   *                  *
   Amie held her finger to her nose, covering fiercely flaring nostrils.
She was determined not to sneeze. Not yet. First the beep. Then she
could sneeze. She waited. The urge came over her and she fought it,
holding her breath and tightly closing her eyes. She peaked at the
reader and it's digital '99.7.' But it still hadn't beeped. Her
temperature was still climbing. She felt it again, the sensation deep in
her nose, working its way from light to forceful, to come out of her in
a final, powerful rush. The reader went to '99.75' then '99.8' then
99.89' then-
   Beep!
   She pulled the thermometer out and grabbed a tissue just in time as
she "ahCHOOO!"ed into it. It was a heavy, wet one, one she was glad to
have a tissue for, even if it had drenched part of her hand in the
process.  Amie sneezed again, lighter, and blew her nose before another
could come. She dropped her tissues into the trashcan by the sink. 30
minutes had passed since she'd finished her shower and the sneezing
still hadn't stopped for more than three minutes at a time. And now with
a fever of 99.9, she knew she wouldn't be making it into work.
   "A damn sneeze and a fever of 99.9 and I'm calling in sick. What the
hell is <sniff> Peter gonna say?" She emptied her nose on a dozen
tissues and dropped the towel on the bathroom floor again as she slipped
into her thick, white bathrobe. With tissue box in hand, she went back
into the bedroom and plopped herself down on the bed, leaning against
the headboard and wall for support. She dialed the number she knew
all-too-well on the celular phone and waited for the answer.
   Ring. Ring. Ring. Ri-
   "P.F. Walice's office. He's preparing for a meeting at present. May I
take your message?"
   "Linda," she croaked and cleared her throat.  "Could you tell Peter I
can't make it to work today?"
   Silence. Then, "Who is this speaking, please?"
   Amie raised a eyebrow. "Amie. It's Amie."
   "Amie!" the secratary exclaimed. "Good Lord, you sound terrible! I
didn't even recognize your voice. Of course I'll tell him. He won't be
happy presenting at the meeting without you, though."
   She covered the reciever with her hand as a sneeze came out. Then
another. And another. She took hold of her nose, pinching it closed
again. She felt another start to come and pinched tighter, almost to the
point of hurting herself. Luckily, it passed quickly, though her nose
was now running. She couldn't let go. "Just tell hib I'b sorry. I'b dot
goig to have a good tibe about it if it bakes hib feel ady better."
   "It's alright, Amie. You just take care fo yourself and come back to
work when you can."
   "Thanks, Lida. I will."
   "Bye."
   "Bye."
   Amie dropped the phone and dove of the tissues. She cleaned her runny
nose and blew, using tissue after tissue.
   She felt another sneeze come tickling at the very back at her nose.
This time she didn't need to fight it as it took her. It made her tilt
her head back, close her eyes, open her mouth slightly... "Ahhhh-" she
inhaled. And then it left again. She stayed in the position for a few
seconds, but could feel the sneeze in her nose no longer. So she stood
to get changed to go back to bed.
   Comfortable silk panties came on first, then a pair of sweat pants
and an over-sized tee-shirt. She shivered with cold as she climbed back
under the covers.
   The tickle came again, though she welcomed a sneeze over it coming
and cutting off like last time.  It grabbed at her stuffed nose and made
her take in a short breath. "AHH!" and then it left her. She sighed
deeply in frustration and from out of nowhere came "AAHHCCHHOO!"
catching her off guard.
   Her nostrils flared and her nose wrinkeled slightly as they came,
straightening up again at the release of the sneeze. Her head bobbed
back and then shot forward smoothly to violently at the force, spraying
forward in large but still feminine sneezes.  "Ahchoo! Achoooo! AhCHOO!"
   Beep! Beep-beep!
   "Oh Hee..aahhh...choo! Hell!" She jumped out of her bed with a groan.
She was feeling dizzy on her feet and her head ached a bit as she moved
about. She pulled on her bathrobe and raced down the flight of stairs,
pausing at the bottom to catch her breath.  She went out the door and
sneezed a small and unexpected sneeze at the bright sun-light.
   Parker was standing there, looking neat and ready for work, two
things Amie was definately not at the moment.
   "I'm so sorry, Parker. I completely forgot to call you to say I
wouldn't be going to work today."
   "You look awful, Nealson. Whatcha got?"
    A sneeze. She felt it coming, wasn't sure if she could hold it back.
"A cold I think. I have a fever and I've been sneezing all morning."
And ther one came, the sneeze she'd tried to hold back. No tissue at
hand. Nothing to catch it in but her hand itself. She could not sneeze
so impolitely in front of Parker. But it came without regard to such
things. Her head tilted back and then forward as the sneeze commanded
her to. Her nose crinkled cutely, her eyes shut instinctively and her
nostrils opened wide as they took in a large breath, then a bit of
another and the powerful release. "AHH... ACHOO!"
   "Bless you," he replied politely, taking out his handkerchief and
hadning it to her.  "Looks like whatever it is, it's a doozy. Get some
rest and drink a lot. And take it easy, Nealson." He smiled to watch her
wipe her nose and nod at his instructions. He started to go to her...
   But she stepped back. "Don't want you to catch this, Parker."
   He complied with her wishes, as hard as it was. "Oh, and there are
few things more comforting when you're sick than tea and 'The Sound of
Music.'"
    This made her smile. She contined to hold the handkerchief under her
runny nose. "Thanks. I'll have to <sniff> remember that, ParkaaahhCHOO!"
Luckily the handkerchief was there that time. Still, she blushed,
off-setting her pale, flawless skin. "Parker."
    Parker thought she looked cute when she sneezed, sort of helpless
but sexy. He wondered what it would be like to hold her in his arms
while she sneezed. Maybe she would sneeze on him. Maybe she would sneeze
as they made love. He remembered her husband, as he always did when
thoughts of her came to mind, and dismissed his urges. He left there
with a "Take care," as he got in his car and drove to a hard day at
work, almost envious of her... and really wanting to be there with her
for one reason or another.
   Amie made her way back upstairs, taking up the cel phone again to
call her husband.  Talking with Parker always made her feel a bit warm,
and perhaps it was the fever, but she felt like she was burning up; she
had to talk to him now.
   Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Click-
   His voice mail. She pressed a few buttons and left her message. "Ted,
I've come down with something. Could you pick me up some <sniff> cold
medicine and a box or two of tissues and drive them over on your lunch
hour? <sniff> Thanks, Darling. Love you."
   With that finished, she crawled back under the covers, sniffling and
sneezing, wishing she had a man to wrap his arms around her, warm her,
comfort her...
                *                 *                *
   Bring!
   The sound woke her from a restless sleep and she sniffed and mumbled,
"Who the Hell could be at the door?" She glanced at her clock, then at
her husband's clock to confirm. It was past 6. Where was Ted? She wiped
her runny nose with a tissue and found it much more sore than before.
   BBrriinngg!!
   She got out of bed and regretted it as she shivered with chill and
nearly fainted from dizziness.  Her bathrobe, she found, was little
help, so she grabbed a blanket off the bed and wrapped it over her
shoulders. Then, with the nearly empty tissue box in hand, climbed down
the stairs. She was hot and out of breath by the bottom, dropping both
blanket and tissues onto her couch as she stood on tip toes to see out
the peephole her husband had installed himself.
   Amie flung open the door when she saw who her visitor was. "Parker?!
What are you doing here?"
   He grinned and nodded down to draw her attentio towards the two bags
he'd brought. "Survival kit. Hey, can I come inside? I'm freezing out
here."
   Amie nodded, of course, and let him in the house for the first time.
   He took a look around the elegantly furnished room, his eyes finally
resting upon her beauty. He remembered her husband. He shook the
thoughts away and bent down by the bags to begin unloading. "Some more
tissues, a couple different brands of cold medicine, some different
brands of tea, soup of course," he paused and held up two videos, "and
'The Sound of Music.' Didn't think I'd forget that, did you?"
   She forced a smile, though all she really wanted was to know why he
was there. "You didn't really have to go to all this trouble for me,
Parker."
    "So you had all this already?"
    "Well, not <sniff> exactly like <sniff, sniff> that-"
    "Then I'd better get into the kitchen and start the chicken soup,
huh?"
    Amie started to follow him in when he stopped her. "No, sit and
rest. I can find things alright."
               *                   *                  *
    "How'd you get so good at this?" she asked, slurping down the last
of her second bowl of chicken soup, the only food she'd had all day.
John Parker was rubbing her back, massaging her shoulders, releasing all
the aches and pains that accompanied her head cold.
    "Four sisters," he answered with a sly grin only he could see. "I
did this every time one was sick. I got lots of practice."
    She sneezed a few times with long, flowy movements as normal to her
as a breath, forcing more through her crinkling-to-straightening nose
and slightly opened mouth than just a regular breath would. She sniffed
and mumbled a small, "Excuse me," out of politeness in Parker's
presence.
    He sighed and she realized that, since her sneeze, he hadn't been
rubbing her back. "Don't apologize for sneezing, Nealson. Lord knows if
you do every time that's all you'll be saying until you get better."
    She giggled and suddenly felt warm and tingly, though this time not
in her nose but down lower...
    Ring! Ring!
    The telephone. "Damn. That had <sniff> better be <sniff> Ted <sniff>
with his excuse," Amie said, standing and walking to the phone just as
the machine picked up.
    "Hello, you've reached Ted and Amie Nealson. We can't pick up now,
so please leave your message and we'll do so as soon as we are able."
Beep!
    "Amie?" It was Ted. "Amie, this is Ted." As if she couldn't
recognize his voice. "I'm on a plane to New York now. Last minute
meeting. We're very close to sealing this deal. I'll be home tomorrow.
Hope you're still not at work and that you hear this when you get home.
Love you." Click.
    She wouldn't cry. Not in front of Parker. Later. "Damn him," she
whispered to herself and looked up to see Parker's worried expression.
"What?" she asked accusingly.
    "Does he do this a lot? Fly to New York suddenly, I mean?"
    She sighed and rubbed her nose.  "Once every few months or so. It's
where the firm is located. He might have checked his voice mail before
he left... at least he remembered to call this time."
    Tweeeeet!
    "The tea's ready," John said, rising from the couch and wading
through the used tissues lining the floor to her. "I'll bring it out and
we can watch the movie together, Amie."
    She nodded, wanting to cry, needing to hold back. Damn Ted. Why
tonight? All she wanted was his arms around her. His comforting touch.
His help to make her feel a little better... all which Parker was
already doing. "Um, alright," she said, fighting her suspicion.  She sat
on the couch and wrapped in one of the blankets Parker had brought down
from her room to make a comfortable spot on the couch for her.
    "Careful. It's hot." He handed it to her and inserted one of the
tapes as he took a spot directly beside her on the couch.
    The movie was shorter than either remembered, though it might have
been due to Amie's nodding off at a few parts here and there. She
glanced at the clock on the VCR and jerked into full alretness. "Parker!
It's almost 11:30! You have to get up early for work in the morning! You
should go." She felt the need to sneeze and did so with the most feminie
sneeze she had ever sneezed. A very medium-toned and cleanly dainty,
"aCHoo!"
     John felt himself react to it as he'd tried not to that whole day.
     She saw him and was just a bit disturbed. "Parker-"
     "Oh God, Amie. I couldn't tell you. 3 years we've driven to work
together... I couldn't say anything to you... You're married for-"
     She sneezed again, unexpectedly, not having time to hold anything
in front of her. He had a good view of her then, the way her eyebrows
furrowed a little and those bright green eyes squinched shut. Her nose
wrinkled and her head titled back, then forward upon release, her mouth
opening and letting it out with an almost smile, as if it gave her a nit
of pleasure to sneeze so. "Ahh... Achoo!"
     Amie quickly reached for the tissues but John got to them first,
snatching them away and setting them down in his lap.  "Come on, Amie.
He's not even in the same state. He didn't call you. He doesn't care for
you the way I do."
     She wiped her nose on her sleeve. "How do you care, Parker? By
getting a stand at my cold? Huh? Real loving. Yeah. Sure."
     He looked at her staight on. She looked back. For a moment niether
spoke. Neither had to. They understood fully.
     Then the tickle came again, larger, and she went closer to him,
making the usual pre-sneeze noises. "Ahh... Ahhh... Achoo!" She felt
another but it went away suddenly as she felt him pull her against his
body.  He untied her bathrobe and wrapped his arms around her the way
she never thought he would, though she had secretly dreamed it often
enough.
      "I think I'm gonna sneeze again..." she whispered with a congested
voice into his ear as she tired to undo his belt and un zip his slacks.
      "Come on... do it, Amie," he said, gasping for air as he kissed
her neck hard enough to leave a mark.  "Do it against me! Let me feel
you as you do it!"
      "Ahh... Ahhh... Ahhhh... ACHOOOO!"
      They were soon naked, rolling with eachother on the couch. Amie
was sneezing, all politeness aside, into his face, his mouth, his ears.
She'd sneeze against his chect, letting his brown chest hair tickle her
nose even more, resulting in bigger, even more powerful sneezes. She had
to pause once to wipe her nose and below it, with the back of her hand,
but that only made him want her more.
       He brought her against him, felling her heart race as each sneeze
sounded, some touching him, all *touching* him.
       Soon she was sneezing on him in parts unknown, making him stand
to with such emotion she had not seen since her honeymoon and a short
time after. "AHH... AHHHH... AHHHCCHHOOOO!" she gave an enourmous one as
he pulled her up and against him, running his tongue agaisnt her bare
chest. "Achoo! AchOO! AhhChoo!" And led him on in ways he'd only dreamed
of.  "Ahh... Ahhhh... Ahhhhh...CHOOO!"
              *                     *                   *
     He woke some time later, feeling the light of the sun on his face.
He kissed her slightly red nose and whispered, "You'll probably never
even remember this, Amie. And if you do, blame it on the cold medicine."
Quietly he left her lying there, snoring daintily. He dressed and got
into his car with the most satisfied feeling he had ever had in his
life. Suddenly he felt a slight tickle in his nose and grinned as it
worked its way into his large, masculine nostrils into a powerful
sneeze. "HAA-SHOOO!" he sneezed into his fist, feeling hot at it. "It
was well worth it all then," he muttered happily as he stuck the key in
and drove off with a terrible, wonderful cold in his nose.